The world that I once was so convinced had forgotten about me, has suddenly found itself balancing precariously atop my shoulders. For the most part, my recent day to day has been using every muscle in my body to keep it from toppling.

Since my partial release 4 months ago, the pressure buildup of my absence has starting to boil over. It’s more than just amazingly resourceful debt collectors. More than just trying to find, and then maintain, a common foothold in society. It’s bigger. It’s the massive weight that comes from trying to rebuild my life from what feels like scratch, while also making amends for having been gone while the world kept spinning.

But… I am dealing with it as best I can. Seven Hundred pushups a day develops some pretty broad shoulders. And that weight is often times offset by the incredible beauty I’ve found in the smallest of things. The smell of a woman. The taste of fresh food. A shower that stays hot longer than 10 seconds. A stick of gum. These things mean the world to me now.

Yes, I am still fighting for my son… but I get to see him. And that ability alone is well worth whatever stress I deal with to enjoy it.

So while it is true that the weight of a not quite technically ‘free’ world is at times heavy, it is also true that my worst day this year is still immeasurably better than my best day last year.

Be good to each other,

Dante

NOTE: The format of BMA will soon be changing to accomodate the stories and art of other inmates. If you or a loved one is interested, please email blackmarketarts@gmail.com for more info. Thank You.